I look pretty jacked on the 1st pic, right? What about the other 3 pictures? Pic #1 and #2 had only minutes in between. And #3 and the #4 were taken less than 24h later.
Posting pictures on social media is a huge mindfuck. Huge. It’s very complicated and has many layers. To a degree, it affects us all. I’ve been trying to understand this for a while now, but I think I am still pretty far.
☝️Here are is what I have come to so far though:
#1 A good picture of somebody can be (or is mostly) very different than that person in real life. The right angle, light and image-post production can work magic. I’m sure that every female user of IG knows that, and in fact is pretty good at angles and light already. Additionally, most pro models of both genders do photo shoots. They basically cut calories hard for a month or two in order to get incredibly lean and then take a TON of pics. Then they use those pics year-round. It’s not like most of the models walk around each day in photoshoot-ready form.
#2 Beauty & Attraction Ideals are weirdly ego driven. Have you ever seen a picture of somebody hot and then got disappointed in real life (hello Tinder)? And I’m not even talking about being catfished. I mean you see a picture of somebody, and you’d say they are attractive, and if nobody was looking and judging, you’d jump into bed with them right then and there.
And then you meet them, and they look great. But not as great as the pictures. You start to notice small imperfections, and things you don’t like. And the more time you spend with them the less attracted you get. Which means that you were basically attracted to your own mind-image of what that person is and not the real deal at all. The more real they got, the less attracted you were. What a mindfuck!?
#3 The “Perfect” Ideals can mess up with sexuality. This is where points #1 and #2 connected and create a bigger point, but I don’t know exactly to what degree. Try to follow me. If there are photoshopped pictures all over IG and FB then this means that our own ego-driven ideas of what is attractive will get further disrupted by these artificially enhanced images. Which means that when we meet a real person, it will be harder and harder for us to first get attracted and then to stay attracted to them.
Now what to do about all this? Well, I don’t have a full answer yet. When I do, I’ll drop a book.
But here are some actionable things that help me cope with this and control it.
Maybe they help you too:
#1 Spend less time scrolling on social media.
#2 Regularly remind yourself that pictures do not equal real life.
#3 Fashion, nutrition and exercise can improve how you look as well as your confidence. But be careful as they can lead you down the rabbit hole of chasing artificiality and mindfucks.
#4 See #1.
#5 Try to remove expectations when meeting new people.
Just to be clear, I still think everyone should watch what they eat and exercise. It will make you healthy and more attractive, and it’s a stoic thing too. And I think it’s a way of self-love. I mean, if you wouldn’t let your children eat shit, why would you?
Anyway, what do you think? This could be a relatively sensitive topic, and not many people talk about it openly. So why not open up a space…If you do comment though, be respectful.
And lastly, I am inviting you to explore these topics for yourself, in your private space.
- What does it mean for you when your picture of yourself gets many likes?
- What if it doesn’t?
- Do you feel attractive?
- Or maybe a better question is WHEN do you feel attractive?
- What makes somebody sexy?
- Why do you scroll social media? At what times do you scroll it? How do you feel before and after it?
All of these are big questions, and if you go deep, you might learn something new about yourself.
Happy exploring =)