I postponed this moment for a long time. In fact, this is the first new blog post in 3 months. What was holding me back? Who knows, it’s hard to say objectively. A cocktail of different fears I suppose. Let’s explore them for fun:
-I was busy with the book launch
-I wanted to devote enough time & energy in my intimate relationships
-I needed to take on more projects to rack up more money to never ever be broke again in the future
-My writing does not reach a lot of people compared to the videos anyway
And despite all this work and being super busy (I’ll have to ban that word), I had an unusual day today. I decided to take a 45min walk instead of the public transport as I run an errand. I wondered at the busy streets, and the gray industrial complexes of north London. I finished my errand, got some food, and then I was ready for work.
Except that I didn’t work. I played Command & Conquer Zero Hour Generals with my friend instead. I rationalized that it was because I promised to play. But it wasn’t. I wanted to.
Excuses were running out, and I thought I was really ready to start working now. I never started. Instead, I watched a lot of great videos from Derek Sivers.
As I’m writing this, I’m still beating myself on the head – “you should be working right now, there are so many projects that require your attention.” But instead, I ate a 2nd dinner (and exceeded my daily calories by 1.4k) and texted back and forth with a Tinder match.
As I read the next article by Derek Sivers, it dawned on me. I am keeping the old priorities in my life. I am ready to change, to move on, but I’m resisting. And the resistance, well, a lot can be written about it. But it sure as hell won’t make you happy.
Oh, by the way, I haven’t figured out what this “new” thing that I want to be doing is. And that’s cool. As long as I know that a change is about to happen, I can be on the lookout and open to new opportunities.
And as I said, I like to write. So I’m gonna write a little more, and worry a little less.
I don’t expect a lot of people to read this post. If you do, and it inspired you, please drop a comment or a personal note. They help create un upwards spiral of mutual inspiration and motivation 🙂